First, kind of an apology: it was brought to my attention that last time's post was far too long and a tad too political...for someone who was complaining about people being political (I blame my inner angry hippie for all moments like these). But there were a few highlights/thumbs up (for those who missed it) I've been told were effective: the online politics between my (sarcastic butthead of a) brother and myself, the naming of gay people's political protest glitter sprinkles as "Pixie Dust of Angry Love" (this actually was fairly clever, if I can say so myself), and my rock star design ideas for the Oval Office (seriously, friends, if crazed Texan/used-car-salesman-looking Rick Perry ever gets in there, I feel fairly certain he's going to be all over my electric blue/red and the silver disco ball in the middle design plan...I'll throw in some cowhide rugs and several huge ten gallon hat commissioned paintings; I am acutely aware of how over-the-top most Texans love it).
So now I've gotten that off my chest, let's move on to some apolitical general August updates:
Hot.
1-It's frickin' hot, people. And I'm in a classroom trailer area, and that area is always about 120 degrees hotter than everywhere else on the planet--some areas areas of the world are wind tunnels. The classroom trailers at my school are one giant heat tunnel. Air conditioning is a human right in my area of the world. In fact, at this point, I'm way less concerned about our nation's growing debt and jobs problems than I am about the fact that we continue to insist on starting school here smack dab in the summer heat, during the most godless period of ridiculously ridiculous humidity.
I've heard insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results each time, and I'm convinced this is what continues school districts here to keep trying to start school at the end of July/beginning of August. And while I'm no internationally recognized economist (you're welcome, world economy), I'm pretty sure starting school after Labor Day or, what the heck, after Halloween, would shave off at least a gabillion dollars from the state education budget in air conditioning costs alone. It's too late for this school year, but I know we can do it for 2012-13, with proper leadership (i.e., not me: I'm just a little old worker bee who likes to complain a lot).
Snippets.
2-I have morning bus duty this year. It's a fairly intense duty, because of various weather-related issues (see my heat complaint above, #1) (later, in January, I will issue forth a general complaint about school being in session during icy months), but I'm starting to kind of enjoy it because I am privy to the inner mind workings of so many children exiting the buses. Just based on various snippets I've caught here and there, I really think we're going to be okay as a country if/when some of these young stars take over.
Some recent samples:
4th? or 5th? grade girl: ...all these fools talking about the end of the world. Well it better not be on a Friday. School's the last place on earth I want to spend MY last hour. (I really wanted to high five her for this because, uh heck yeah! But I'm not familiar with 4th/5th grader psychology--would that have made her terribly uncool, to have a strange teacher come up to her and high five her before class even started?)
three 2nd? 3rd? grade girls walking in row, girl in the middle speaking: ...I'm not going to have a baby. I'M going to adopt. (Girlfriend, right on! Your body will so thank you, particularly if you're in your late 30s when you do it.)
Bucket.
3-Melissa has learned to cuss. And, like most everything she starts doing, she doesn't go small. No, this time she's headed for the big one. The F dash dash dash word, and I don't mean Fork, Four, or Fart.
I must take partial blame for this; I had terrible road rage when she was ages 0-2. I never held back because I figured small babies have swiss cheese memories as their brains are in the beginning stages of development, and small toddlers too. But apparently I've been gifted with an obstinate, future actress who lives to shock others, and she's discovered the F dash dash dash word is just the ticket.
This morning for instance, she didn't want to take her breakfast plate into the kitchen. And so I asked her (tip #1 for new parents of overly opinionated toddlers: Do NOT ask them why not--under any and all circumstances), "Why not?"
And she replied all casual-like, "Because F dash dash dash you, mommy."
Okay, so here's where I do NOT take blame. I'm sure she knows the F word from our driving lessons over the last two years or so. That's all me, I admit it, guilty as charged, I'm sure there's a special place in Hell for mommies like my classy self. However, I know for a heck of a road rage FACT I have never, at any point, ever told another driver in another car that she or he could or should or must "F dash dash dash you."
I suspect another kid in her daycare class. I find these people are always the easiest scapegoats to point at for most everything (tip #2 for new parents of toddlers): Is your kid suddenly throwing around expletives? Daycare friends. Flinging poop on your walls? Daycare peeps. Refusing to stay in own bed at night, blaming it on fear of the Big Bad Wolf? Daycare homies.
Anyway. She said it, and I was all "(GASP!!) What did you just say??" And she giggled and said it again, louder this time, with great amounts of more confidence and self-sure emphasis.
So we're trying not to make a big deal of when she throws the word around because, first of all, words are important tools for toddlers. They're just learning to navigate Life's crazy, twisty turns and some days, "No!" and "I don't want to!" and "F-dash dash dash it!" are all the power they have to wield in a world that simply refuses to recognize their importance--toddlers are China, and we adults are like one big G8 summit refusing to let them in on the big secret.
And second of all, C and I are convinced she still thinks the word she's shocking everyone with is "bucket" or a variation thereof. In fact, I fully anticipate her exiting a school bus one day while spouting off worldly wisdom to some friends as they walk by the teachers on bus duty. And I fully anticipate her throwing in the word bucket at the end of whatever wise-for-her-age thoughtful thoughts she shares, because she'll remember that when she was a mere 34 months old, the word bucket always made her mommy's eyes get big, and so she'll be sure the word bucket makes her sound all grown up and hip. And I'm totally okay having some teacher write all that up in a blog one day.
No comments:
Post a Comment